Politics, Friends and Hate…
General — By Milk & Cuddles on September 2, 2010 at 6:20 pmAre you on Facebook? I am. And it seems like every day this week I’ve seen a status message from one of my friends that makes fun of the Republicans, or makes fun of the Democrats. Something political – something meant to be mean. I’m friends with a pretty wide array of people, but I’d say one trait they tend to have in common is that they are all passionate people that have good hearts – and that want the best for humanity.
And while I know that they all come to their political viewpoints from very deeply held convictions, and from a deep love of people – their actual political affiliations are very diverse. Diversity of political opinion doesn’t impede my being someones friend – on the contrary,I love a good friendly debate now and again! In fact I cherish having friends that I can have a good intellectual discussion with. A discussion that can be passionate- but still be respectful of each other.
What bothers me about the status messages I have seen flying around Facebook, and Twitter and all over the web lately – is that they are so mean! It’s not like people are just writing about a cause they believe in. It’s that they are just making fun of people! You know- the Sarah Palin jokes. The Obama jokes. It’s not about educating anyone on their point of view- it’s mean… for means sake. I usually don’t say anything. I just try to ignore it.
But what boggles my mind about this whole mean thing- is that I don’t see what they think it will accomplish! If you really want the other side to consider your point of view- is calling them names, and making fun of the politicians they most admire going to get them to respect you? No! It is going to further turn them off listening to anything you say.
The only thing I can think is that it has become “cool” when surrounded by people that you think believe mostly like you- to have a good laugh at the other side. To bond over your mutual hatred of the other political party and their leaders? To call them names and make them less than people- to make them things to be laughed at.
I know the friends that I have seen post such things – are good people. And that is what scares me most. When the kindest people among us start to let our anger and frustration over political situations with which we don’t agree with turn into hate…we are in trouble. By all means write your congress person. By all means – RUN FOR CONGRESS!! Do something tangible. Try to discuss your concerns with someone on the opposing side in a reasonable and respectful way. Post about the cause you believe in. Explain why you believe in it.
But when you just make mean jokes, when you just call people names – you should know that you are making your cause look bad… all the noble reasons why you believe in what you believe, get lost when you make your point through hate. Just sayin.
Or maybe I just need to toughen up? Maybe Facebook just needs to give me a way to turn off “political hate” statuses messages? I figured out how to turn off Farmville! I believe it could happen!
Anyway just had to vent. The hate from both sides was getting to me. I feel better just getting that out…
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27 Comments
I am SO with you, Shannon! I’ve seen status updates that make me want to cry and updates that make me just never want to speak to certain people again. There are people I’ve known for years and years and years and they know where I stand, yet have no problem posting demeaning things. And it makes me feel like they don’t respect me and clearly think I’m an idiot, since I’m a member of this huge group of people they just called idiots.
I keep my politics off of Facebook. I don’t join certain FB groups because I don’t want to publicize my affiliation there. It isn’t the place. I wish more people had respect for others that way.
.-= Renee´s last blog ..Tattoo for You =-.
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Milk & Cuddles Reply:
September 2nd, 2010 at 7:02 pm
@Renee, I’m the same way- I mostly keep my politics of facebook. But I don’t mind if other people want to put theirs on it- I DO mind when they start spewing hateful names at anyone that doesn’t believe what they do.
And I so relate to what you mean- I have many friends who know I’m on their feeds and how I feel and will call people that believe how I believe idiots! Do they not get how insulting that is?
If all you have is hateful names- you’re not as well informed as you think. Geez. Thanks Renee:)
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I could not agree more! I just graduated from law school so you can imagine how many people on my newsfeed that went to law school think that they know ANYTHING and EVERYTHING about politics now that we’re graduates. It’s so irritating! The way I feel: keep it to yourself. Every person is educated enough to make their own decisions and like I tell most people that try to convince me of their political ideology: “I am NOT the type of woman to be persuaded by anybody else, so don’t waste your breath with me.”
.-= Cristina´s last blog ..Her First Day =-.
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Milk & Cuddles Reply:
September 2nd, 2010 at 7:05 pm
@Cristina, Oh Cristina! I bet you do see a LOT of it! That’s my favorite excuse as for why people do it too- that THEY are more educated than everyone else. I seriously just heard that 10 minutes ago!
lol.
I guess everyone is just MORE EDUCATED than everyone else, right?
PS. Your baby is so cute!
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You make such great points. It concerns me when my children see these political nasty name calling battles going on. We try to teach our children one thing and they are publically displaying a total other kind of adult behavior. Great post, I totally agree with you.
.-= Lori´s last blog ..Listening To Music While Schooling =-.
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Milk & Cuddles Reply:
September 2nd, 2010 at 7:34 pm
@Lori, Lori- Thanks for likeing Milkand Cuddles on facebook and being number 100!!! YAY!!
In regards to what you said- I agree. i think that is why the hate talk is getting so upsetting to me now. I have a young daughter and I just think- if the adults around her cant stop acting like they are in highschool- what kind of world is she going to grow up in?
I thought name calling was outgrown in elementary school! Goodness.
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I totally see where your coming from, although I’m not currently getting as much political drama on my FB feeds as you. I got a ton during the health care reform and during elections and the thing that made me the most irate is not that people were trying to empart information,,,
it was that the information was almost ALWAYS Skewed..
and not just one side, both sides are skewing and angling and trying to make you scared or paniced so you’ll go and fight for their cause.. but your panic and fear are unfounded and often times if you did the research you’d know this.
I agree that its hateful to call names, and it definitely doesn’t win over supporters. I also think that while our political figures are in the public eye that they (like celbrities or tv personalities or whatever) need to be given the same respect you’d give your parents or your grandparents. People are doing their job and they’re trying to do their best. If you disagree with their views then you should campaign knowledge,, not hate. Become active in your local government.
But I suspect most people don’t want to make a career or full time job based on their frustrations in government. They’d much rather be frustrated or aggrivated by aspects that they disagree with,, but they probably overall think its a pretty good government.
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Milk & Cuddles Reply:
September 2nd, 2010 at 7:39 pm
@Danielle, I would even settle for skewed info! Anything more substantive than name calling!Well not really- but you get the idea!
I got a lot of political stuff during healthcare reform too, but at least it was people trying to get their opinions across rather than just say mean things. I dont mind political stuff- just the hateful stuff.
I dont know whats in the water- but last week I kept seeing it from my conservative friends and this week I keep seeing it from my liberal friends- and it’s exhausting. Especially because both groups like to think of themselves as the “kind” group- and then they go and spew hate and unkind names. And it’s like- really? Your the kind ones?
I’m probably just pms’ing and my threshold for bullcrap is low:)
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I have notice that the messages are all one sided on my Facebook page too. I would just like things to get better. Both sides can help!
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Milk & Cuddles Reply:
September 2nd, 2010 at 8:17 pm
@JDaniel4′s Mom, I agree! Both sides need to take a breath and just try to be respectful when they disagree rather than just defaulting to personal attacks.
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I agree with you, Shannon. I’ve posted some things in the past that I only ended up regretting after the fact. Posting any sort of political opinion is like throwing yourself in front of a pack of angry wolves and expecting that they won’t attack you. It saddens me that politics has become SO partisan and SO cut-throat that many people who choose a side can’t see past the opposing side’s views to simply regard them as fellow human beings. I read so many articles – even in national newspapers – in which slanderous names are thrown at the President and at other politicians. It bothers me – espacially when I hear of or see people who call themselves “Christians” doing the name-calling and bashing.
My husband and I have friends of all political backgrounds – good friends. Somehow, politics never enters the arena when it comes to maintaining a true friendship. It’s so nice to have friends like that. I finally learned my lesson and realized I could no longer express my personal views, particularly after someone (who is very confrontational and pushy anyway) confronted me at work with the question, “So, what do you think of the President NOW?” It was obviously a loaded question. I simply replied, “I don’t talk about my political views with anyone anymore,” and I smiled. Best response I ever gave.
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Milk & Cuddles Reply:
September 2nd, 2010 at 9:07 pm
@Jen, Yeah, I think everyone probably has Jen. The thing is, sharing viewpoints is important- it’s the hate part that just gets in the way. Many times I agree with the people that are making fun of a politician or viewpoint- but I still hate to see it because I think it makes the whole cause look like it’s about name calling rather than real facts and feelings.
And the other thing- is that I dearly love all the people that post the political hate on my facebook feed- thats why they are in my friends list! And I know it comes straight from their frustration and wanting things to be better. So I get it- I just hate having to read the mean stuff. And this week was weird cuz for some reason I was reading it from like a billion people- and it just made me disillusioned that people think that helps anything to just call names.
It’s sad, but I agree with you I keep my political feelings much more to myself because I just don’t feel safe to express my point of view without having to hear the hate mongering. And I don’t have time for that. I may have to copy your response from now on!
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I am totally with you! I posted a link about the oil platform that caught fire in the Gulf this morning, and it seems the emphasis got switched from that to politics. I have actually gotten to the point where I have “hidden” status messages from people who routinely post ugly mean things, be it poking fun at Political figures or others in general. The down side is that I don’t see when they post anything good, the up side however is that I see the status messages of the people who I really want to know what they have to say at any moment. Such as in my children or like say you & Michael and a few others. Great post my friend. Ironically, while my post for today was not political, it does have a lot to do with the hearts of man…Hugs…
.-= Mitzi´s last blog ..Replacing the Hearts of Mankind =-.
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Milk & Cuddles Reply:
September 3rd, 2010 at 2:53 pm
@Mitzi, Just read your status- Wow that did get political quick! At least though the people arguing were trying to bring up issues that upset them rather than just call names? lol.
It’s amazing how quick peoples anger rises to the surface- I guess people are just so pissed off on either side that they can barely keep their emotions in check…. talk about a country thats a powder keg…
makes me sad.
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So true… I am equally tired of the mean spirited bashing of opposing sides. Some of the comments and jokes are threatening and cross a line. I’d love for people to stick to the facts and the issues without getting personal and nasty… it leaves everyone feeling wounded. Not my vision of democracy and having an educated exchange…
Best,
Elizabeth
.-= ElizOF´s last blog ..Thursday Thoughts II- Night Owl Meet Morning Glory =-.
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Milk & Cuddles Reply:
September 3rd, 2010 at 2:49 pm
@ElizOF, Yeah, the line seems to get pushed farther and farther everday. To the point where I kinda cant believe nice people feel so comfortable saying such nasty things…
but I think some people think if it’s politics- then there are no rules. Makes me sad:(
I agree Elizabeth- educated exchange looks different.
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Hi! I wrote back on laura’s fb comment to you guys too, but I understand where you’re coming from but I think thats the great part of fb and america. (Its funny that I’m using fb to exemplify america lol) but we’re so lucky in America because we can express how we feel about different things and not get thrown in jail for it. I think its great when people disagree and discuss through topics, but I understand why you’re frustrated because you have to read them on fb. I think maybe it would be good if you could block those comments, but I don’t know how too! I also think that you make a great point above about if someone wants to change someone else’s thinking, its in poor taste to do that by calling the other side names, but the other person might not be trying to change the other side’s minds, they might just be expressing how they’re feeling.
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Milk & Cuddles Reply:
September 3rd, 2010 at 2:47 pm
@Nikki, I’m not saying I dont think people shouldnt be able to say what they want. I agree it’s America and freedom of speech is part of that. I’m just saying it makes me sad when people are just writing mean hateful things about other people and their beliefs. It makes me sad that rather than have a meaningful conversation about it- so many people think if they dont agree with a political party or politician than that person doesn’t deserve any respect.
And I just wish I didn’t have to see any hateful statuses about ANY person. To me, someone being a politician doesn’t make them subhuman- and thats how I feel many of my friends feel about politicians when I see the language they use on the posts they make about them.
Bottom line- they can do what they want and I support that right. And I get their anger comes from a really good place. But I find language that describes any person as subhuman as offensive- and I just wish I didn’t have to see it.
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HERE! HERE! I COMPLETELY agree! I truly don’t understand the hate that is involved. Why is it that in order to be passionate about one’s political view one must be degrading or insulting? This is what has turned me off to ANY political discussion for a good number of years now. I just don’t understand it and I refuse to even try. Being destructive toward another simply over political differences is just asinine.
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Great blog! I wish people could just engage in civil discourse about the issues instead of resorting to name calling and such. That polarizes everyone further, and that’s the last thing our country needs. We’re about to get the chance to make some choices via our polling places. Wouldn’t it be nice if instead of entrenching ourselves further into our respective camps, we stopped the name calling and started talking to each other. Oh… and listening… that’s kinda important too if this whole communication things gonna work.
.-= A Daddy Blog´s last blog ..Parenting Advice from Jon Gosselin =-.
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True enough. It’s easy enough to get snarky. Much harder to delve into what you actually believe and explain it well.
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People in general don’t know how to argue, not just about politics, but any subject. I blogged about this http://marynate.blogspot.com/2010/05/how-to-fight-fair.html
I also have a link to another person’s blog on my blog about Vulgarity.
Both are both reading, and may-be restating on your own blog for others to read. People shouldn’t bring up subjects that hurt others, but not every subject should be a red flag. People need to re-learn how to be civil and give the benefit of the doubt, even when they feel like their buttons have been pushed and are livid.
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I agree! We’re bloggers, not politicians! I went on a friend’s FB page the other day and it said something like: Don’t post anything here unless you hate {politician’s name}- and I know her from my church!
I have unfollowed bloggers for getting on that hate wagon- I don’t enjoy reading stuff like this.
.-= Lisa´s last blog ..All American Pressure Cooker updated Sun Sep 5 2010 10-07 am CDT =-.
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I’m right there with you. I have no problem with having a healthy debate and I like to see others views but the whole hate thing just frustrates me. You said it well, it gets us know where. We are all adults. Why can’t we act like adults. We try to teach our kids to be polite and work things out but for some reason that goes out the door when it comes to politics. I know I am very committed to my reasons for the different political issues but writing hate isn’t going to get us know where. Thanks for posting this. It puts it all in perspective.
.-= Anne´s last blog ..God…are you there =-.
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I am so there with you! I stopped mentioning politics altogether after this past presidential election – didn’t even vote as it seemed too personal. I don’t know if that makes sense. I didn’t want my identity to be wrapped up in a political party.
.-= Rachel´s last blog ..Making a Mess- Preschoolers Painting with Balls =-.
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Happy Anniversary to you and Michael, Shan!!
Love all of you 
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Very true. I’ve also seen political comments on Facebook that are quite negative and sometimes even hateful. Politics has never been an interest to me personally, but I don’t think that anger, ignorance, and hate will better any situation. If people want to make the country better and do things for the good of everyone, they need more positivity, acceptance, and downright kindness.
Oh btw, following from Mom Loop Friday Follow!
.-= Lis´s last blog ..V8 – The Poor Womans Juice Cleanse =-.
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